**Do it one by one, don't look ahead!** This is like, 99.9% true! On a piece of paper:

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one). Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--i'm watching you)

. .. ... .... ..... ...... ...... ...... ..... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... ...... .......

. .. ... .... ..... ...... ...... ...... ..... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... ...... .......

. .. ... .... ..... ...... ...... ...... ..... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... ...... .......

. .. ... .... ..... ...... ...... ...... ..... .... ... .. . .. ... .... ..... ...... .......

..............................................................................................

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THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose: Red: You are alert and your life is full of love. Black: You are conservative and aggressive. Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back. Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love. Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is: A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life. L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom. S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected. Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever. July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good. Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose... Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose... Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!!

I moved.........check me out if you love me wildxlover.  Ill add you once you check it out.

So last night me, beth, and Jon went to this GSF concert at the church over by skate zone and it was really fun.  Jon picked out what me and beth should wear and he helped decide how our make-up should be.  We went and had fun but I started crying a bit cos I was still thinking of recent events as I still am now.  Beth and I talked about it for awhile and I started crying again.  Then me and Jon got onto a conversation about love and lust and what we actaully feel for people.  Then it ended at around 10 and we stayed till about 11:30 helping the bands pick up and i flirted with a bass player for awhile.......he was cute.  Secondhand is so awesome but they arn't really charity guys and that pissed me off a little.  I got to meet most of the bands so that was fun.   Then my mom came and picked us up and we stopped at wesco to get some junk food and energy drinks.......we all chugged them and then fell asleep, some help they were.  But me and beth stayed up talking about you know what for awhile and then fell asleep.  She wrote me a letter about how much she loved me and it made me cry.  When we woke up we continued talking about it and it hurt really bad.  All of this hurts really bad but if I don't stop it now it will just continue to get worse.  Im changing....getting out of the "jacob phase".......if I look differnt on monday don't be surprised, it won't be anything big but im trying to express myself better these days.  Im still hurt today but im going to be okay with a little help from my friends....we are gonna help eachother through this.

"life is like a pile of wet leaves, we know they are wet but we're going to jump into them anyways"

love always,

rach

Im gone.  Done.  Through with all of this.  Jacob went back to Nicole so I stayed true to my word and went away.  If he would have cared enough he wouldn't.......maybe he thought that I really wouldn't do it but I can't get myself hurt anymore....so that is where I am now.....getting myself away from pain.  I didn't run away....I just got out of more hurt and drama.  Nicole has given me and everybody so much crap and it is his problem if he still wants to beleive her.  I can't save him from himself.  He called me like a ton of times and my mom told me not to pick up the phone and then Jon and I fell asleep and he called again and I uncounsiously answered it...he is blaming everything on me and im not going to take it anymore, none of it.  As for Nicole, I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND AGAIN.  No, I DON'T want you to die but I sure as hell don't ever want to see you again.  You have some MAJOR issues and you blame them all on other people.  I wasted way to much of my time trying to help you and I will never let myself do that again.  I want you to go to boarding school, that is your choice.  Im just done.  You started all of this and you are the one who keeps dragging it on and so I am getting me and the ones I care about out of your web of lies.  See, I have friends....good ones you and Jacob are not included in that anymore....you both proved me to be wrong, I thought you were good.  I loved Jacob and you just couldn't stand that....so you went and stabbed me in the back and I decided that I wasn't going to take your shit anymore.  All you want is for people to feel sorry for you but I am not going to ever be one of those people again.  You and Jacob can go be depressed lovers....I don't care but don't come crying to me when nothing good comes of it.  Im okay.......I don't need either of you to make me happy and I have learned that.  So, its over.  Jacob, if you would have only listened none of this would have ever gotten this far but it was your choice and you just ruined our friendship.  Love isn't suppost to hurt so that wasn't love.....it was just me thinking I was.

Love to my REAL friends (you know who you are) and thank you.

love,

rach

Tell my mom that I love her.

Im okay........I talked it over.  Somthing happened and it made me really sick....I didn't think I was going to make it.  Im not a very strong person and when sombody basicly tells me that they would choose sombody else over me.....I take it pretty hard.  Im over it....it isn't worth my life.  I have a long while to live.  If anything kills me it will be my infection but not this....not now.  Im not going let this happen.  Sorry if I scared anybody....I was going to do it.   But with the caring call of a friend and help from my mom I decided not to.  Josh, thank you.....I really was ready to do it if you wouldn't have called.  Well, I g2g to meijers to get some new paint rollers. 

love always,

rach